Read before you send
Findom Scams: Spot the Fake Before Money Moves
Catfish dommes, fake paypigs, fee tricks and image threats: how to spot each one and where to report it.
Is findom a scam?
No. Findom is a real kink between consenting adults, but money is the point of it, and that draws scammers. They work both sides: fake findommes who use someone else's photos to take a send and vanish, and fake paypigs who pay with stolen cards. Check people before money moves and you take away a scammer's favourite weapon: your hurry.
Fraud has shadowed findom since the first study of it, in which Keith Durkin noted "the ample opportunities for fraud associated with this practice" back in 2007. The FTC says "Never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you haven't met in person", and findom ignores that by design, so send only what you could lose.
Fake findommes: the scams aimed at paypigs
Fake dommes are the scene's oldest headache. In 2018 a working domme told MEL Magazine there were "hundreds and hundreds of fakes", often "men posing as women with stolen photos and videos". By 2023 dommes and subs were telling Vice their kink had been "flooded with scammers".
The pay-first catfish
Some real dommes want a tribute before they talk, and every fake copies them. Vice reported that paying first leaves a sub no way to judge whether she is "a genuine fin domme or opportunistic catfish". One victim found by reverse image search that her photo belonged to someone else.
The borrowed face
Fakes also steal real dommes' faces: a findomme told MEL that fake accounts had taken her pictures and tweets to lure subs. Real dommes can post a video saying their own name, and subs can search a domme's name for call-out posts. On Findom Finder, impersonation breaks the member terms, and an ID check or a live video check with a moderator shows a domme is who she says. More in how to find a findom.
Fake paypigs: the scams aimed at findommes
Dommes get conned too.
Stolen cards
In 2020 a findomme told Vice about "'paypigs' getting in touch with dominatrixes and using stolen cards to buy things from Amazon in their name". A lavish first gift from a brand-new account deserves a closer look.
A fee before the money
If a sub says his money is waiting but you must pay a fee, a deposit or a release charge first, it is a scam. Money sent to you never needs yours to arrive.
A link to "verify" yourself
The FBI warned in April 2024, Malwarebytes reported, that dating scammers send "verification" links that collect card details and sign people up to costly subscriptions. Findom Finder's free ID check is part of the site, so nobody needs to send you elsewhere.
The screenshot
A picture of a payment proves nothing: count a send when it shows in your own account, checked by logging in yourself. The subs worth keeping are in how to find paypigs.
When "blackmail" stops being a game
Some dynamics play with exposure, the fantasy that a domme could tell someone. That is role play with nothing real behind it. Once someone holds real images or secrets and demands money, it is a crime.
Blackmail carries up to 14 years in England and Wales under the Theft Act 1968, threatening to share an intimate image is a UK offence, and US federal law covers extortion by threat. The legal detail is in is findom legal.
If it happens to you, the UK helpline that runs StopNCII, part of the charity SWGfL, starts with this: "You haven't done anything wrong". Then:
Don't pay
The NCSC warns that paying a sextortion demand "will likely encourage more scams".
Keep the evidence
Screenshot the messages, the demands and the profile.
Stop, block and report
Report the profile on Findom Finder, then block it so they can no longer contact or see you.
Go to the police
Call 101 in the UK, or report to the FBI through IC3 in the US. The FBI warns against companies that charge for recovery help the police already provide.
Stop the image spreading
StopNCII turns an image into a digital fingerprint so participating platforms can block it, for adults who were 18 or over when it was taken.
How to check a findomme or a paypig first
Search the photos
The FTC recommends a reverse image search: it reveals a face borrowed from someone else.
Read the proof
Look for the ID badge, a video check and a reputation score built from behaviour and feedback.
Stay on the site
Talk on Findom Finder until you trust them, and heed every off-platform contact alert.
Every check is on our findom safety page.
Findom red flags, and what to do about each
| Red flag | What to do |
|---|---|
| A tribute demanded before you can check her | Check her ID badge and rating first. A real domme can wait. |
| A rush to move to WhatsApp or another app | Stay on Findom Finder, which warns you when this happens. |
| A fee or charge before money can reach you | Never pay to be paid. Block and report. |
| A link to "verify" yourself somewhere else | Don't click it. Use the free ID check on Findom Finder. |
| A screenshot offered as proof of a send | Log in to your own account and look. |
| Pressure to borrow or send money you need | Stop sending. Read our findom addiction guide. |
| A real threat to expose you or share images | Don't pay. Screenshot, block, report and call the police. |
Where to report a findom scam
Report it, however embarrassed you feel.
- On Findom Finder
- Report the profile, then block it. Complaints are resolved within five business days, support is human and 24/7, and fraudulent or threatening accounts can be closed.
- England, Wales and Northern Ireland
- Report Fraud, which replaced Action Fraud, on 0300 123 2040.
- Scotland
- Police Scotland on 101.
- Sextortion in the UK
- The NCSC says don't pay. If you already have, call the police on 101. Victim Support is on 0808 168 9111.
- United States
- Report fraud to the FTC at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and, if you have paid, contact your bank. Report sextortion to the FBI through IC3 or on 1-800-CALL-FBI.
- Intimate images
- Adults can use StopNCII, and the helpline behind it gives step-by-step advice.
Findom scam questions, answered
Is findom a scam?
No. Findom is a consensual kink: the sub's thrill is handing money or gifts to a dominant, and researchers have written about it since 2007. Scammers hide inside it because money changes hands, so check anyone before you send.
Are paypigs real?
Yes. Paypig is the scene's word for a sub who gets a thrill from giving; Wikipedia lists it beside finsub and money slave. Whether the one messaging you is real is another matter. No PayPig app exists in Apple's App Store or Google Play, so distrust any link claiming to be one.
Why would a paypig ask me for a fee?
Because he is not a paypig. A real sub's money needs nothing from you to reach you: no fee, no deposit, no release charge, no card details. Anyone who asks is trying to take money, not give it, so block him and report the profile.
What should I know about PayPal and findom?
That PayPal's own rules do not allow "sexually oriented digital goods or content delivered through a digital medium", so read them before you use it for findom. Findom Finder never handles tributes, and a payment is real only once it shows in your own account.
Can I get my money back after a findom scam?
Not always, which is why checking first matters. If you have paid a scammer, the FTC's advice is to contact your bank and report it. Wishlist gifts are hard to recover: Throne's help pages say a refund is not assured even when a scam report is valid.
Stay sharp on both sides
The checks, the law and the people worth your time.
Play with people who prove themselves
Join Findom Finder, check the badge and the rating, and save your sends for someone who earns them.
Join now